Monday, November 29, 2004

Starting From Now

Thursday, May 16, 1968

It was my birthday last week. I'm 12... I can't believe it, what happened to my life? A year ago I was living with my mother on the road in an old bus, then she died and I was put in a children's home, but I definitely don't want to write about that - I don't even want to think about it... EVER! Anyway, I feel like someone pressed fast forward on my life recorder and then stopped it some time in the future. Maybe my mum did it, from wherever she is, to get me past all the bad stuff that's happened.

So, now here I am, living in an ancient old tower in the middle of nowhere on the Borders of Scotland with this granddad who I didn't even know I had until about a month ago. I got sent to live with a complete stranger just because someone said he's my grandfather - my mum's father. She never even told me about him - not one word - ever - once. She can't have liked him much if, in eleven years, she didn't tell me about him - and now, here I am living with him. It's weird. I don’t even know if I like him. I don’t even know if he likes me. I suppose it must have been a bit of a shock for him, suddenly being told he has a 12 year old grandson, then having to take me in and look after me. I suppose he must feel like I do - weird.

Anyway, my new granddad gave me this old book with blank pages in it for my birthday. He said it's some kind of a tradition, or something, for the oldest boys in the family to write a journal. He said it would be a good idea to start it now to record the first year of my new life here at Ravenstone Tower. At first I thought it was a stupid idea - something girls would do. But I've been thinking about it and I've decided to give it a go. I've got to find a good place to hide it, though, because I don't want anyone reading this until I'm either dead, or really old - like a hundred, or something.